Skip to main content

South Indian Weddings...

Weddings are fun, at least on Pinterest they are... but the weddings in my place are mostly baffling and they seem more like a chore than a day of excitement. Most of the time, the bride and the bridegroom hardly know each other and they spend the majority of the day smiling, receiving gifts and posing for the camera, while quietly wondering how they were going to live the rest of their lives with a stranger (at least that's how I thought at my wedding). Above that you have to deal with the crazy photographer who wants you to pose with your arms round each other, or lean into the other person's shoulder or look into each other's eyes... it all seems so fake, not to mention uncomfortable. The photographer at my wedding tried to get us to do all these stunts, we politely declined and he complained to the parents that we weren't cooperating. On another note, these incidents gave an inkling to the person I just tied the knot with... I came to know that he too wasn't into fakeness and I thought he was kinda cool. (After five years, I can say that he is way cooler than me... I tend to dramatise everything, but Tonio is easy going and takes life as it comes). Anyway, getting back to these photographers, most of them have a really warped sense of taste. In the wedding album, you will find gold chariots dragging the couple and winged unicorns flying nearby or the couple will be standing in a waterfall and flowers will sprout all around them... they could give Peter Jackson a run for his money. I wish I had pictures to show you, if any of my relatives are reading this, be a sport and send me a few pictures. (I understand if you never want to talk to me after this, but do send the pictures first...)

Another thing that stupefies me at these weddings is the obsession with gold; I can't understand why they pile on the jewellery well past the 'looking good' stage. I mean don't they have mirrors, can't they see how they have gone beyond graceful and tasteful into the gypsy category. Times like this I always go into the 'whatever rocks your boat' phase, cause you can't go tainting someone's wedding day with your opinions. Another major thing that really gets to me at these weddings is the lunch part, I'm sorry to say this but people make a mess of the place when they eat... and I understand it is unavoidable with huge crowds. But it's your wedding day and you shouldn't have to dodge and skip around the tables. I still shudder when I think of my wedding lunch, I have blocked out that entire episode. All this is nothing compared to the practice of dowry that is still rampant in my place. I can't understand how people consider it a custom when in fact it's a disgrace to the people who demand it in the first place. How do you respect a man and his family who seem greedy for money they have not earned? Any real man ought to know that he is capable of taking care of his bride on his own...  otherwise he is a wuss and needs to grow a pair. When I come across such people, Frasier's sentence runs through my head- I see you are still waiting for that spine donor. 

Other than these troubling customs, weddings are a colourful sight here. Everybody looks quite nice in their silk sarees with flowers in the hair. The silk saree is a gorgeous six yard material that drapes the body beautifully and lends an old world charm and elegance to the wearer. I rather like getting decked up for a wedding and hanging out with the cousins. Here's a picture of me and the cousins at a recent wedding... I like how our saree colours stand out.
A few other ad pictures I found in the papers...

This is one tradition I like... and endorse maybe five or six times a year, even though it looks great and all, it's still a long heavy material that takes time to drape. A jeans and a kurta is what you'll usually find me in, its far more comfortable, reliable and easier to slip into. 

Comments

Daemon Zak said…
gold is good - 1gm is 65 USD now. I agree it is stupid to flaunt it .
Hello:
This is such an interesting post for the way in which you outline customs and traditions, in this case of weddings, which are very different from our own. Certainly what you say about the photographer and the resulting pictures is awful, but then we have seen some fairly dreadful wedding pictures in both Britain and Hungary.

We were, some years back, invited to the wedding reception of the son of an Indian friend of ours but it took place in Birmingham and so may not have been totally the same as in India. What struck us were the wonderful clothes, the colour of the whole occasion, and the lavish amounts of food. To say nothing of the music.
Daemon Zak said…
I just read that part . will read the rest later and see what i can comment :p
Anonymous said…
Totally agree with you! Am still baffled at the huge amount of jewellery people wear in our town! Weddings are fun :-) Love all the colors and smiling faces
- saras
Leela Britto said…
How nice to read your opinion about our weddings!! I completely agree with you and try to talk with people .We need bold people like you .Hope and pray that some change will come soon .God bless you.
ganeshputtu said…
ha! ha! ha! ..really enjoyed this one- especially where you desribe those bizarre wedding photos- i can picture them in my mind right now...and high/fives for your cool hubby- who played spoilsport to the paparazzi...
wildeyes said…
hahah i loved the post! i agree with everything you said...from the photos to the jewellery to the food and everything else in between. especially the dowry! although watching you and tonio pose like that would have been hilarious! we should get the 'to-be-couple' to pose like that for our entertainment :P
Karen Xavier said…
Saj, yeah gold is good... bring some when you come.

Jane and Lance, hahahha... must have been quite an experience for you two. Yeah, people here love to play loud music...

Saras, the smiling faces are what makes everything worthwhile.

Leela Aunty, so nice to see you commenting on my blog. I do hope weddings in the future are more fun and less business like.

Ganesh, you still have to go through all this... and I can't wait to read your blog posts about them.

Megh's, yeah we'll do just that... we'll even go and pose like them nearby.
Susan Deborah said…
I share your sentiments about weddings. Even in Kerala, the amount of gold the bride wears is horrendous. When I got married we defied everything, from jewellery to photos and crowds. We don't even have a wedding album -- only our computer has pictures. Weddings here are just an exhibition of what the family has to show off. I detest that.

Joy always,
Susan
BackStage said…
Nice post. I wonder if only in the south, weddings are such or if North also includes such melodrama... hmmm...

Popular posts from this blog

The Danny effect and the Cooper effect

With all the free time I have now (thanks to Cooper) I thought of writing something here.  This is Cooper, a friend's dog, and whenever I go home to Nagercoil, we generally hang out together, talking and taking Cooper for long walks in the colony. This time was no different, we were on our walk when this stray little street dog started barking and I was holding cooper's leash... my hand in that loop when Cooper suddenly became way excited than usual and took off after the stray like Flash on steroids. He dragged me along and I couldn't keep up; I stumbled, fell on the bad road and bruised myself.  And since I had nothing better to do, I made a collage of the wounds to send to my sister... who found it hilarious that I fell. So anyway, went to the doc, got my tetanus shot and now I'm just taking it easy for the next few days. And one person has been constantly on my mind since this incident, Danny.

I met Danny about 12 years ago in Santhi Nilayam, the special school I …

December 2016 and January 2017

The last few months of 2016 were crazy in so many ways. First there was the money issue (when the higher denomination notes lost their value overnight) which created a mess of economic proportions. The insane queues at banks and ATM's and all the scrambling that was happening to make sense of it all, made November quite memorable.  Around the same time, Trump came out victorious which I thought was pretty hilarious... a sort of validation that people are the same everywhere, based on who we elected here.  Anyway, after the chaos of November, December came with her own brand of drama. I heard of Cyclone Nada, but I was busy in Nagercoil then enjoying a birthday party...Even that was fun, surprising the birthday girl who did not know that I was at the airport with dad. She walks up and down and I'm hiding behind the newspaper pretending to read it, then I see Manoj by her side, and they finally come out and she is hugging my dad and after that I walk up behind her and tap her on t…

Hair messed up